Today, a woman invited me to run away with her to the ocean. She is tall, older than I, long dark hair, brown eyes… and married. I had worked with her briefly a few years back, then my job changed and I went one way, she went the other. From time to time she would call my office. (Where I attempt to tame wild monkeysall day long) Conversations were nothing special, nothing wild— “how are you?” “I’m good.” “How you been?” etc. But today “Let’s run away together, I’m going to the ocean.” Twice. I was surprised. I was flattered. She knew I liked her, she could probably sense it. (Women are smart like that) I joked and turned her down in a very nice way. I don’t think she really expected me to accept her invitation.
“Let’s run away together, I’m going to the ocean.”
It was hellish. It was a long strange, kinda ugly trip… but it happened, and it’s over. It’s the story of: a big company wants to buy your land, you’ll have thirty days to move when notified, and you’re not quite sure when it’s all going to happen. On top of that: You have to buy another house. Crazy gamble? Yes. Insane? Yes. Did we make twice as much as our house was worth? Yes. However, the monetary gains were quickly replaced with the stress level wrenched onto our souls.
The big company (who turns neighborhoods into storage lots) also bought some of the surrounding properties, and as homes became vacant, unfortunately, squatters began moving into the area. Note: Squatters hold up progress for big companies. So, on the last day I said goodbye to our old house, and my final time was spent emptying the very last drop of many years from every crack and crevice while scurrying to beat the appointed exit time. The exit time, also known as “Get-out-of-the-house-now!” Because the police are coming to break the windows and take the doors from their hinges to dissuade more squatters. I knew in a week the home would be completely gone, torn down, to be paved over by the machine. It was time for the house to go, and it was time for me to go.
I know… erotic writer… writing about houses. That really gets me hot. Lol. Actually, at the moment it does. In an unpleasant way.
Again, to make a long story short. (I swear all my stories seem to be long and well endowed) We were about to close on the house, (see recent posts) everything was going as planned… (sounds like the opening to a tragedy) when it turns out the sellers agent listed the house, when she shouldn’t have. The title for the house was not free and clear. So, she hadn’t done her homework, her job. The issue was actually caught by the title company, not her, and luckily, beforewe had signed to close on the house. Otherwise, I understand it would have caused much pain and discomfort in the future. But now, though this agent is working to make amends and has even hired an attorney to resolve the issue, our future hangs in the balance. With our current house sold, we “literally” have to be out in the next few days.
We had it roughly timed out, a few days— a week at best, in a hotel, that’s fine, mini-vacay! Yeah! However, when your future housing plans disappear, and you have “no-home” to go to, suddenly… life is no vacation.
So while they work to resolve the issue, without a specific close date. I’ve been littering my agent with new houses to go visit in the event that this process takes too long, or, actually does not get resolved. I get the feeling she would prefer that I sit back and chill, thinking that this issue will be remedied, again I have no guarantee it will, and “I do not chill well.” I’m a creative man, and I’m a restless man, and if someone doesn’t want me to stand up in the boat, I will stand up in the boat. (Yes, I may fall out of the boat, but I will own it.)
It’s all part of this on-going house process. For those just tuning in… months ago, a big company wanted to buy our land. Eventually, tired of being pestered by some really low offers, we told them we would sell for a much higher price than what our house was worth. To our surprise they countered with a pretty good offer and we said yes.
Rabbit hole. So today, yes Memorial day. They were were supposed to send house inspectors over. (Yes, really on Memorial day, we double checked) They needed to check for asbestos, mold and such, before eventually tearing the house down. (The property is destined to be joined with other properties, and then to become a huge warehouse) So, here I am waiting. Alone, in a mostly empty house. It has been a good two hours since they should have arrived; and of course, I’d already made a head-full of plans (me-time in the shower, going out to breakfast, more me-time in the shower, etc.) that are now, on-hold.
The house stuff is still progressing. Everything is going as planned… I hope. In case you missed the last post, or fell asleep while reading it. (Sometimes I do. :P) Anywhoo, that 1964 two-story looks like it’s going to be the one. The house was appraised a few days ago and actually came in a good notch higher than what we are paying. Yeah for more equity! Godzilla says Yeah too!
I had wanted to create more equity anyway, so I was thinking hot tub, rumpus room, big bouncy house room, Velcro room, toy room… etc… (I mean, who wouldn’t pay more for a Velcro room?) But I am probably being a little over ambitious. Now, if only that big ass Godzilla would go back to the ocean. All though, I guess that’s one way to deal with Jehovah’s.
Yes, one of these days you might get a real picture, not a vintage mash-up.
Of course, I’m a hopeless romantic and can’t help but picture myself sitting in my own writers den/office, sitting behind my laptop and happily churning out more chapters of “The Taming of the Fallen,” (and other assorted off-color erotic prose) while wearing a soft robe, fresh from the shower, eating tater-tots and being looked upon by beautiful women clad in fishnets…
So that cute little red house from the last post didn’t work out. It was like a break up gone bad, complete with crying, kicking, screaming, alcohol indulgence, many tater tots were eaten, and finally, denial… well, until house number two came along. This beauty was made in 1964. Damn’t Godzilla found this house too! White and blue, two stories, two fireplaces, two bathrooms, two car garage and enough rooms for an office and… a special play room.**
We’ve already put an offer on it, been through inspections and now were in negotiating phase. Things like, “Hey either fix this ham sandwich or give us the money to buy one.” They may also come back with, “No, fix your own damn sandwich.” In which case we might say “No, we will go find another sandwich, perhaps even a hoagie, and with pickles!” … you know how these things go.
Well, I’m not as active as I had planned on being. I know… you’re let down. Especially after all that tater-tot talk from last time. I’m sure that was a page turner 😉 lol.
Anyway, you may have guessed by the title, we are looking for another house. To make a long story short, some time ago a big company wanted to buy the land we live on, they kept offering some pretty low numbers and we kept telling them no. Finally I said, throw a big-ass number at them. To our surprise they came back with a pretty good price. This was a few months back now.
Here’s a vintage picture I mashed up to give you an idea of the house we just put an offer on. Minus Godzilla of course. It’s a beautiful long barn-red rambler. Cuz, I’m a ramblin’ man, I guess. It has a big beautiful cherry tree out front, and the setting has a beautiful charm onto itself. I know! If this was a drinking game on the word “beautiful” you’d be three shots in already.
I started a group over on the website Goodreads. For those that don’t know, it’s a place for readers and writers. My new group? Of course it’s wicked. It’s called “Erotic Fairy Tales and other Wicked Fantasy.” I thought it might be a juicy way to bring like-minded people together. Right now it’s pretty small. Ahhh… how small? K, no penis jokes. Well, as of this writing there is only two people… one being myself. I really just started it! I hope more brave souls will follow. Plus I could really use another moderator or two, and please invite your friends to join, if so inclined. Wait! I just checked the site. Now there’s three people!!!
Night time is for the creative, for fantasy, and other things that go bump in the night. It’s a time for writing. Hello primordial night. Things slow down, they quiet down, the circadian rhythm changes and your mind wanders. This is how I escape the real world.